Life in the Material world, a review!

   
Hey there, Pandora here after a long absence but trust me it'll be worth it.

I have just finished watching George Harrison: Life in the Material world. I'm a massive Beatles fan, and a lot has been done on The Beatles as a group, and John Lennon as a solo artist, but there seems to be an absence of recent out put about the others. This is often explained by the sad loss of John at a young age, and although this is true (and tragic) I feel that this isn't completely fair. George Harrison, in my opinion, was an amazing guitarist and song writer. So when Life in the Material World came out I was intrigued, although I have to admit it did take a while to get round to watching it. At a whopping 208 minutes, its not exactly something you watch any time. So here goes, my thoughts on George Harrison: Life in the Material World.
   
    First off that run time. Although it seems long, none of it drags and it really didn't seem all that long to me. There was a lot to cover through his life and none if it rushed, or drawn out. Surprisingly more time is dedicated to the end of The Beatles career than the start. This may be due to the latter having the more profound effect on George. It also covers very sensitively the struggle George had within The Beatles to be recognised as a song writer on his own merit. Also, a lot of time is dedicated to his time with the Maharishi, again something that had a profound effect on his life and beliefs. I was genuinely thrilled that it has been balanced in such a way that the things that mattered to George where the things that got the most screen time. This shows how important it is to have someone who knew the subject of a documentary intimately is to the quality of the final product. It is also not afraid to cover things like his experience with drugs, which surprised me a little as drugs these days are kept off screen unless it's to enforce a negative image.

    The interviews were amazing, well balanced but personal. No one tried to paint him as perfect or a saint, Olivia for example mentions his affairs quite candidly. As well as talking about George as a person they also spoke about the impact George had made on there lives. Which, to me, is just as important. The idea of a documentary on a persons life is so you can know them better, and knowing the impact George Harrison had on so many people better explained the kind of person that he was. There is a good mixture of funny and moving stories, some have been previously publicised others are more personal. Even the more well known stories, for example the end of his first marriage and the break in at his home, are given new dimension by the personal touch the interviews add. So even if you think you know everything about George Harrison's life, it is still worth a watch.
   
    The visuals for this documentary I found quite strange. The mix of archive footage and interviews was fairly standard for a work of this type. The archive footage being a mixture of interviews and public appearances and home movie footage. The thing that I found strange, and this might just be me, was the slide show type sections of still images, often displayed with music over the top. I can understand the inclusion of the stills, but I feel that this would have been more effective if there was a story behind them being told. Slightly off topic, the use of Dhani Harrison for the voice over section for letter's was a great idea, he looks and sounds exactly like George.

    The only thing I have to say that is quite negative is I'm not sure what the mass appeal of this would be. I went into this as a fan of George Harrison and wanting to know more about him, however I'm not sure what a casual viewer would take away from this. This is a documentary not a biography, so it might be difficult for someone who knows little about The Beatles to enjoy. Maybe this is true of all documentaries, and an existing knowledge is presumed. Olivia Harrison was quoted as saying she wasn't sure she wanted people to see the documentary, but I for one am very glad I did.

VLog - The Olympic Games Opening Ceremony

Auros and Dare give another vlog, this time on the Olympic Opening Ceremony. Once again these are first impressions, so there may be errors... and cake.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2402eFDahE

Pandora: Rock Horror Picture Show Review

          Hey there, Pandora here discussing the Rocky Horror Picture Show. What makes this film so popular, and does it deserve its 'cult classic' status? The Rocky Horror Picture Show has become a massive phenomenon but is it really worth the hype?

          The story for the film is quite simple. A newly engaged couple is travelling to see a former professor, get a flat tire and they go to seek help from a nearby castle. That's really it. The rest of the story follows what happens to them inside the castle. Okay it's not quite that simple. The film is intended as a homage to, and spoof of, old sci-fi and horror films. The castle belongs to Dr. Frank-N-Furter, a scientist, alien, hedonist, transvestite, and the night Brad and Janet arrive he is unveiling his latest creation to the Transylvanian "Unconventional Conventionists". So what the story is really about is the two nice wholesome kids, Brad and Janet, being dragged into this insane world. Throw in a love affair, a murder and a wedding and it covers all the bases.

          So a plot that on the surface seems simple becomes great by the execution, because the film is quite short it never feels like the scenes drag, and the plot is not so complex that it seems rushed. The pacing of the film always seems spot on. Although there are some scenes that seem random they always have an impact on the story, the characters or their motivation. For example, the scene with Eddie coming out of the deep freeze does seem random but it is this that pushes Columbia away from Frank. Even the professor they are going to visit becomes relevant when he arrives at the castle looking for Eddie. Even the most random scenes in the film mesh into the story line.

          The characters in the film are one of the main reasons the film is so memorable. They are all vivid and unique, drawing on the conventions of horror film traditions, the helpless heroine, the mad scientist and the hunchbacked butler all make an appearance. It's also to do with the way the characters are played, all the actors seem to be having massive amounts of fun making the film and this shows. The acting, especially Tim Curry, is over the top to the extreme but it works so well. Everything about the film is over the top. I always find a film is only as likeable as the characters, so for this reason alone it’s an amazing film. The way the characters play off against each other also works well. With the extremes of Frank-N-Furter and Janet, who faints at the Time Warp, and how these characters change through the course of the film. None of the characters seem obsolete or replaceable, the film wouldn't work if any of these characters were missing or replaced.

          No one can talk about The Rocky Horror Picture Show without mentioning the sound track. There is only one song that doesn't seem to fit, Sword of Damocles, which is sung by Rocky Horror when he first emerges. This is the only song that seems out of place and doesn't fit with the character that is singing it. Okay the Time Warp is random but it still works in the context of the characters that are singing it, and it seems more like how they would phrase things, plus it is a good introduction to the mood of the film and the situation Brad and Janet have found themselves in. It's not that it is a bad song in itself it just doesn't seem to fit. As for the best songs in the film it's a tough call between Science Fiction Double Feature and the floor show. Science Fiction Double Feature is the opening song of the film and it really sets up what is the inspiration for the film, listing charters such a Michael Rene and Faye Ray and King Kong. The floor show is one of the most famous scenes in the film but the reason the music is so good, especially Rose Tint My World, is it really captures the characters and how the events of the film have changed them.

         

          So that's why the film is so popular everything comes together to create something amazing, unique, quirky and edgy. I think it deserves its cult status. And is it worth the hype? If you don't know already I recommend watching it just to find out.

vlog - 2011 End of Year Review Part 3: Most Anticipated for 2012

vlog - 2011 End of Year Review Part 2: Disappointments

vlog - 2011 End of Year Review Part 1: Highlights

Sonic Generations Review

Deus Ex: Human Revolution review (plus DLC Impressions)

Pandora on Dreadfleet

Hey there, Pandora here with another awesome thing that has stolen my mind. This month it has been all about Dreadfleet.

Dreadfleet is the newest sub-game from Games Workshop. To be honest I hadn't really paid much attention to the hype about it, and wasn't all that bothered until I happened to be in store on the launch day.

After 1 demo game I was sold.

So what's it all about? It is set in the Warhammer fantasy universe, sort of. The actual setting is a sort of 'Bermuda Triangle', a ship graveyard with many strange tales around it.

There are 2 main groups in the game the Grand Alliance (goodies) and Dreadfleet (baddies). All the ships have there own story of how they ended up in this strange place, as you would expect from a Games Workshop product the back stories are detailed and mesh together as part of an overall story of the game. There are 10 ships altogether, plus auxiliaries and scenery. The game box was priced at £70, which seems steep until you take into account it contains literally everything you will need, including dice, game mat and even plastic bags to keep cards in.

The models for this game are amazing. Each of the 10 ships is distinctive, and reflects the faction it represents very well. Though the one that surprised me was the inclusion of a Chaos Dwarf ship, the Black Kraken.

It's almost impossible to say which the best looking ship is, as they all have unique points that make them stand out. Though the 2 head ships, the Heldenhammer and the Bloody Reaver, are as expected the most impressive and the largest, though that's not saying all the ships aren't awesome.

I am also happy to report in the most part the models go together very easily and neatly. Painting wise, I found it easiest to follow the suggested colour schemes, as none of the factions I collect are included so I had little in the way of colour scheme knowledge for them. The accompanying White Dwarf has painting guides for all the ships, some of the auxiliaries and an overall guide to the scenery. The scenery pieces that are included with the game are equally impressive and distinctive. Hell, Citadel have even gone all out on the pieces for measuring the angle of a turn, measuring stick and wind direction gauge. Even the auxiliaries are detailed and unique. All in all a class act from the model point of view.

As for game play, again all angles have been covered well. All the ships have a card with their stats and Captain's abilities, meaning no fighting over the rule book. The instructions are clear and concise and cover almost everything that may come up during game play. Anyone familiar with playing Warhammer won't find this too much of a jump. The turn phases may have different names but are essentially the same, so there are orders (resolving continual effects etc), movement, Broadside (shooting) and boarding (close combat).

Player turn order is decided by a D6 roll at the start of each round, so tactics vary each turn depending on your roll and the actions of the players before you as well as anticipating the actions of the people after you. Also, as the instruction book is well laid out it isn't hard to find what you are looking for, for the times the player's minds go blank or an argument threatens to break out. Almost all special instructions are written on the various cards that come with the set. This means that when they are all laid out in front of the player, they essentially act as a quick reference guide.

Most of all this is a very sociable game. As there are 10 ships, there can be up to 10 players. The rule book contains various scenarios for different numbers of ships, and uneven sided battles.

There is also the matter of portability. As the girls quarters of the WIP HQ are a long way from the main HQ, I don't tend to war game much. As it means lugging an army case there and back, where as this is much easier to move. And only 1 person needs to bring things, so as many people can join in as are interested.

So get your pirate on. Yaarrrr! Rum all round!

Pen and Paper RPGs vs. Computer RPGs - Part 1

Once again i take to the typing machine, and bring you another DM ramble!

Today I am tackling (mostly attempting) to answer my own personal question...

Pen and paper RPGs vs. computer RPGs, which s better?

Okay, where shall I start? Of course!

Back in the mists of time before the gaming industry really took off and we were stuck with pong yer back too the good old 70s!!

We as people didn't have a lot to choose from, granted there were the ultimate board games of the time dealing with war, strategy and seeing how many times your little sister could land on that row of hotels around Piccadilly!

The concept of 'role playing' is a simple one: you take the persona of a warrior or a crafty thief but really its only an upgrade, dare I say, from playing games as kids using your imagination to well and truly live out your favourite cartoon or comic (many times when I was younger I'd be a Power Ranger or Michelangelo from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles).

But I digress...

Role playing 'games' as we know them was a concept drempt up by David Wesely with the Braunstein Game.

In 1967, Wesely served as referee for a Napoleonic war game set in the fictional German town of Braunstein.

Two players acted as commanders of the opposing armies, but because he was interested in multi-player games, Wesely also assigned additional, non-military roles. (For example, he had players acting as town mayor, banker, and university chancellor. When two players challenged each other to a duel, Wesely found it necessary to improvise rules for the encounter on the spot).

Needless to say initial experiments were not exactly popular (from all reports simply chaotic) the Braunstein game was never published but in the eyes of the world 1967 had sown the seeds of role playing games.

It wasn't until 1974 when arguably the corner stone of all pen and paper RPGs was invented! Dungeons and Dragons!

Giving us poor mortals a chance to use our imagination to play out those fantasies of being Gandalf or Conan in a structured way! And it kept people from murdering each other playing diplomacy.

Now with the concept of RPGs established and the gaming industry growing it was only a matter of time before the popular 'table top game' became a console game only a year later!!

In 1975 Claremont graduate university student wrote the first Computer RPG. The game was an unlicensed implementation of the new role playing game Dungeon and Dragons!

Granted it was in text format, it was still the first game to use line of sight graphics, as the top-down dungeon maps showing the areas that the party had seen or could see took into consideration factors such as light or darkness and the differences in vision between species. Truly revolutionary!

Okay people lets do the time warp *cue Dr who theme tune.*

Fast forward and we find ourselves at the ever developing peak of technology and social interaction known simply as....err, today?

Anyhow!

Where does this lead us? Do I even need to to list the hundreds upon thousands of role playing games out there? Most people can name at least 4 console RPGs... but can they name 4 pen and paper RPGs?

Once upon a time getting your mates around, grabbing some dice, some soft drink, order a pizza and once again assailing the heights of Wizard's Tower, was cool, popular and of course dictated the basic core concepts of console RPGs!

Epic back story, <check>
Player characters, <check>
More monsters and booty and exp! <check>
And of course the dungeon with optional sewer level (because there's always a sewer level). <check mate>

But somewhere along the line we became geeks, pen and paper games became unpopular and so shunning sunlight and girlfriends (or boyfriends. After all, girl gamers do exist - I know 4) it simply became a stereotype, but once again I'm going off point...

Wait what is my point...?

Oh yes...

You see, with time comes innovation with that we look back and go "hmm, how can we make that better?"

Both console games and pen and paper games have come a hell of long way: rules, graphics and dozen other things.

But which is better?

Find out in part 2!

4G: Duke Nukem Forever Review (XBox 360) - Part 2

4G: Duke Nukem Forever Review (XBox 360) - Part 1

Sonic Mountain Quest Review

AD&D vs. D&D 4th... Part 1 (the seriously cut down ramble).

An updated version of D&D was released as Advanced Dungeons & Dragons (often abbreviated to AD&D) 1979. Dungeons & Dragons 4^th edition (D&d4th) the Player's Handbook, Monster Manual, and Dungeon Master's Guide were all released in June 2008.

If you’re not sure check Wikipedia go on ill wait..........

Are you done? Excellent!

You know back in the day I would’ve never considered myself interested in role playing games let alone as I do owning at least 9 of varying rule systems worlds logics and 100 other in game factors.

When I was growing up I didn’t have a good gaming background or even being you stereotypical geek, I was the average 11 year old when I first came across D&D. Id got to that stage when collecting dinosaur magazines was getting old, Lego wasn’t fun anymore and my collection of ww2 model aircraft was quite extensive, for my generation this was common after all I didn’t play on a ps1 until I was 13 and our saga mega drive had died years ago.

It was during one of my father’s clear outs of a cupboard that he happened up old Games Workshop lead figures and soon after the most fascinating books id ever read AD&D1st edition.

He of course not resisting would and still to this day regales me with stories of his lv 6 thief, my mother’s half elf magic user the insane man beast and his Druidic half brother. I think I can say one way or the other my imagination was hooked.

Okay, at the time I was in games workshop per verbally going gooey over space marines and Gorkamorka! And yes I had played few examples of D&D games including First Quest! And AD&D introduction game with audio CD...it was bit pants and yes I never quite got my head around role-playing.

My career in geekenss and gaming revolved mostly around Games Workshop until once again a quick adventure to the realms of storage revealed character sheets books tiles and figures; from then on I endeavoured to play! Learning from the meanest DM of all: my father (guess something are fated) before long dad would get a campaign going which would die out before it began, he encouraged us to DM ourselves; and when it came my turn I crapped out.

But then I read, I listen to the my old man, I understood I researched and after one hypothetical question the winds of magic swirled around me and with the blinding green light a crack like thunder I became the DM and my friends the patrons of a small town legendary for being built upon an ancient city some saying that through the basements you could gain access to a lost city! and who knows what untold riches lay beneath!

But I’m rambling.

There’s a fundamental differences between the two games apart from the sheer time span; granted D&D has been the corner stone of role playing games since before I was born and has been considered as such amongst the role-playing community.

So in the natural order of things games must evolve.

Character creation:-

I’m not going to go through the pre-flight checks of how to literally create a character, you know roll 3d6 find what class roll hit points make racial adjustments... no its a granted I just want to give you a overall view... from me to... well... thee.

Now in my younger days I used to do nothing but create characters its a bad habit I've never broken out of, now initially AD&D has a relatively straight forward creation system roll up stats pick race and class, then fill in the tell tale gaps on your sheet, for a long time this has been one of the most tedious tasks in D&D finding out what bonus your strength has, how likely you are to know languages, your thieving abilities (which I can assure with racial bonus's coupled with a high dexs score and levelling up can be a minor headache) and hell I’ll admit I’ve never had a instance to use the percentile for resurrection chance. As for races you were, granted a bit limited to the standard line up elves, dwarf, half orcs (yes orcs with a C and yes they do procreate not spawned from mushrooms thank you Warhammer)! Gnomes, humans and good old halflings....really that was it.  Granted there were supplements released later on for other races and even articles in white dwarf magazine that allowed you to be something unique.

In 4^th edition its simply a case of let’s see how many books we can bring out with a stupidly extravagant array of creatures, monsters and some of the weirdest and unique player characters even invented the shard mind springing to mind (a physically animated crystalline humanoid) of course the classics still exist humans, half orcs, halflings, gnomes and no less than 3 breeds of elf? What like elves aren’t bad ass enough now there’s the wood-ish magical elves the normal elf the dark elf types and half elves just to make sure? But there you go. My only gripe with the character creation in 4^th is the character sheet!! Seriously people is it too much to ask for a how to fill in guide? I’ve played and experimented and still found stuff on there I needed to fill in!

OK granted 4^th is a D20 variant and yes once you understand (oh boy did it take me a while) its pretty dam comprehensive just long winded and daunting to say the least.

Maths is not my strongest point so really do I need to do semi quadratic equations to figure out what damage I do? What number I need to role on the dice just to hit?? But it’s the little things that are saving graces, a box to put your party member’s names in, a list of personality flaws, mannerisms and such: simplification at its best....maybe too simple. Oh and skills and feats! Practically every D20 base has skills list and yes this does help in the long run.


OK I need to chat up an elven waitress ill use bluff then diplomacy! Yeah it’s a helpful aid but where has the role playing element where the character psychically grovelling begging for more troops for the front when you can go ill use diplomacy *rolls I pass give me more stuff! It’s almost heartless although it does stop the DM being a bastard.

Feats something else that you can do that makes you just that little bit more awesome in game, and near enough forgettable but as the lords of D20 command there must be more stuff for you to remember!!!

In classic AD&D you had your stats you had equipment list you had this tiny space in which to make notes and of course the usual class, sex, flavour which you normally expect. The rest is up to you as the player to role play. With 4^th literally everything you ever need to know is on the sheet EVERYTHING!! (Granted the class cards a supplement with every option and power available to you do help but not at 7.99 they don’t).

Ok onwards!

Races...take your pick....classes... right?

Fighter, thief, magic user, cleric with added bonus of illusionist, assassins, druids and everyone’s favourite whipping boy the paladin and ranger, as I’ve stated there were more out there for the “old school” D&D player in supplements, options etc. but it wasn’t that hard to tweak/ hell change the names of weapons, clothing, even just borrow a few elements other classes or find the right trader (Mr. Dibblar esquire located near Fred's magic emporium) you could be that ninja or samurai or whatever; and 9 times out of 10 looking at your stats helps.

So choose class, gain some money grab your gear and off you go......straight to the nearest pub.

Simple, right…?

In 4^th same motions grab stats choose race spend ages filling in appropriate stats and skills. Choose a class...

Now in this edition not only do you think hey I want to be the paragon of justice lord of the gnomes and have a big sword, granted you can do that but also if your more like hey what do I want to be today? There’s another factor to take into account... namely your role: Controller, defender, striker and leader. Each class is now associated with one of these happy concepts, for example thieves are strikers (not trap finder) a fighter is a defender (form shield wall and crap self) warlords are leaders... etc now each of these introduce powers to your character, whether it be nasty attacks or the ability to heal or even 'buff up' your party so at last you can kick some ass (and trust me without at least a 1controller stuff will hurt you... lots).

Now I was never a fan of the 'powers' thinking hang on I'm over powered at lv 1 orcs won’t stand a chance....well your wrong! And I found out the hard way fighting against lv 1 goblins is embarrassing; especially when you’ve used half your healing surges just to crawl your sorry ass to the point where you can face the dreaded goblins of the butt-fuckery clan.

It’s interesting because by the end of it you crave more power and there’s only one way to get it: staring death in the face ripping off his nipples and asking “do I gain bonus exp if I call him Nancy?”

With each class comes great power and there’s a lot you can choose from so customization is a granted coupled with bit of imagination but you are spoilt for choice: Ardent, Avenger, Barbarian, Bard, Battlemind, Cleric, Druid, Fighter, Invoker, Monk, Paladin, Psion, Ranger, Rogue, Runepriest, Shaman, Seeker, Sorcerer, Warden, Warlock, Warlord, Wizard to name but a few.

And each of these with up to 3 build options (5 if you have specific divine or primal power books) just so you can truly have the weirdest most custom character ever!

With the powers and the skills and what you can buy form the armoury! Its comprehensive I admit it’s all laid out there just waiting for you.....it’s simple, not particularly fast but it is a mountain of information literally at your finger tips.

Pick up and playability... well I leave that to you? AD&D I find simpler to understand and grab character and go, D&D4th its long you miss stuff but by the dark gods of my dice tin! Your character encapsulated in 2 sides of a4 with more info than you'll ever need… but that’s me.

Next time on scratching my head trying to remember stuff!

Game play: AD& vs. D&D4th.

DM

DM: What is to come.

The atmosphere is electric as a hundred or more bodies crammed in around the long house. You force your way to the front, past the drunkards and the reviling spectators until you reach the edge of the fighting pit.

Around the edge you see the patrons: men and women even a few children from a dozen races, from lands beyond those known to you and your kin.

A silence falls as a figure steps into the pit form an unknown entrance. He is clad in the deepest of red robes, his face hidden beneath his cowl.

“Ladies and gentlefolk; creatures form the furthest planes, fey from the woodlands and norscans form beyond the Wulfren!!” a series of cheers go up from the assembled crowd, even you cannot help but smile at the sight and sound, all too soon the hush returns.

“You have come from far and wide to witness the once in a life time fight,” the robed figure’s hands raise pointing to either side of the pit, as he does so gangplanks are lowered revealing the two contenders. “From the seas of Gygax, his forging a mystery champion for many a year, brought once again from retirement, he is the monster crusher, the hide of iron, the scion of the gods - yes that’s right: DRUNG THE HUN!!!”

The crowd roars in excitement the stamping of feet the clashing of flagon upon wood. By cue he emerges – it was quite the sight, this wall of muscle and scars. His body seems heavy cumbersome, the pelts and talismans he wore doing nothing more to than to enhance his appearance! His age was clear that time hadn’t been to kind the network of scarring across his features, his body telling his every fight, every battle, like that of the darkin would wither they’re flesh totems.

“His opponent the upstart from across the wilds to the coldest valley, he has carved his name in blood and now we see him here! The crusher of skulls, the slayer of the fen beast, butcher of Kull: HANGIR THE UNSTOPPABLE!!!” This time the crowd was near deafening as smaller, broad figure came. You could see the strength not only in his muscles, but in his cold eyes, and the strange swirl of tattooed skin. His hands were like troll claws - strong and bigger than a man - still huge but nothing compared to Drung.

“My friends,” bellowed the robed figure “TONIGHT WILL BE ONE TO REMEMBER!!! GENTLEMEN, LADIES, PLACE YOUR BETS FOR ‘DING TIME’ IS HERE!!!”

The two combatants stare calmly at each other as the crowd move and swell towards bookies and friends, suddenly there’s a voice in your ear “So which is it to be?” You turn seeing a disheveled man, his clothes faded, caring a tray parchment stuck to his front “Drung or Hangir?” he asks. The parchment consists of some kind of code that you’re unsure what it means... “Oh its simple” says the man “it’s naught more than simple code between us bookers: it gives you odds and returns on your investment, ya see?” You nod and consider your options, gold in hand you take one last look at the parchment, trying to will some figure out of the coded odds: AD&D 1st ed. vs. D&D 4th ed.

Auros - My next target!

Watch out, fan girls and boys - the Twilight Saga is next on my hit list! Be afraid, be VERY afraid!

Auros - Soul Calibur IV Review

I'm going to review a game that has been close to my heart for a long time - Soul Calibur. However this is not just any Soul Calibur, oh no, this is about which is probably weakest title in this outstanding series: Soul Calibur IV.

First off I’d like to say that I LOVE this game – I’ve loved every Soul Calibur game I’ve played. I liked the first one I bought, Soul Calibur III so much that I soon went on to buy Soul Calibur II, and the series’ debut – Soul Blade. They offered smooth and fast paced game play, top notch graphics and character customization. But moreover they utilized and focused on weaponry of all shapes and sizes, rather than the much more traditional unarmed fighting games; something which to me was something I hadn’t really seen that often. They were always adding things to the game play, adding new modes, characters and new options – as well as a face lift, of course. And since I fancy myself a bit of a sword master I just HAD to get these games.

So when I heard about Soul Calibur IV I was over the moon – and then I kinda crashed into the moon and died a little inside when they said it was the final chapter. But now that I have my own little crater on the moon, I know where to run and hide if the game sucked so the rest of me could die. Oh, and to those who are faint of heart, I’m probably gonna be cussing a lot, sorry.

The first thing I found was a picture of Mitsurugi in high-res detail. And after having a pseudo-heart attack at the sight of my favorite character and the thrill of a new game, I saw that the game would feature Yoda. YODA… YODA!?? Of all the characters they chose to make a crossover with they chose STAR WARS!!? What in the fudge has Yoda got to do with anything?? Why is he there? What’s his purpose in the game??

“Yeah, it’s pretty good, but ya know what the Soul Calibur series needs? Fucking STAR WARS characters! That’ll be AWESOME, man!!”

What the fuck people, seriously? You have a game which features swords and axes being pitted against fucking LIGHTSABERS?? I think someone needs a 'reality' check (for those who don’t know - a lightsaber is a futuristic sword capable of cutting though almost anything with ease). This doesn't even begin to make sense. Yoda, Vader and Starkiller can all use lightsabers and THE FORCE (both of which in-game actually suck pretty hard)! But thinking about it conceptually, how the hell would any of the other characters even stand a chance against them? An even besides that, it’s a fighting game that utilizes melee combat in the 16th century – it’s just out of place! Even if you look at it as just a thinly veiled attempt to try and promote The Force Unleashed (a pretty fun game in itself, to be fair), it’s still a giant 'fuck you' to the 4th wall - Sci-Fi characters, in a fantasy game? Seriously, have they started making games just to advertise other games now?? What’s next? Where does this end? Will Kane and Lynch turn up in a fucking Tomb Raider game or something? *Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light* Oh fuck you!! Don’t get me wrong, I’m a monumentally gargantuan fan of the OLDER Star Wars films – they’re quite simply some of my most favorite films ever: great story, great characters and great concepts (and I’ve seen A LOT of films); but in Soul Calibur, what the eff?? All it really boils down to is basically just 3 new characters (with clunky fighting styles which clash with all other Soul Calibur styles) who I suck with. Lame…

I suppose it's about time I tore my eyes away from the cover art and actually play the game!

Loading up the game and watching the cut scene I wondered what would be different in this game, what would be added this time, and will it suck harder than Reb Brown films? Well the cinematic was, as with every Soul Calibur cheesy, yet awesome – it’s a kind of guilty pleasure to watch. Seeing some of the characters in high-res detail was awesome, also the introduction of some of the new characters, like Hilde - a red-head who uses a short sword and a lance fighting against Ms. Bondage-- I mean Ivy! Yeah, Ivy...!

DM: Ivy's boobs - the REAL reason we buy a Soul Calibur game!

And *sigh* Yoda... fighting against Astaroth. And of course having the series 2 main characters 'fighting' each other - Siegfried (the hero - wielding Soul Calibur - the good sword) and Nightmare (the villain - wielding Soul Edge - the evil sword).

After talking my eyes of the mesmerizing start menu I saw they obviously had the modes that have to be there – the incoherent nonsensical   non-canon story modes which appear in every ‘story’ mode in fighting games. Here’s something I don’t get – why does the story mode always have to be like that? Seriously, there’s a different ending for each character (which in themselves are short, dissatisfying, samey and lame) where their journey was supposed to end. Here’s my problem – its non-canon every time. I don’t think I’m really ++SPOILERS++ err, spoiling anything when I say that in one way or another you find and fight some guy the story writers kinda pulled out of their ass - Algol, and you get one or both swords (Soul Edge and Soul Calibur) and your character chooses to take them, destroy or seal them. Here’s my problem: almost every character does this. They almost always reach the same conclusion. So… who really wins? What really happens, and who gets the greatest and most powerful magic swords in the world (which aren’t really any better than any of the other ultimate weapons in-game)? Not all fighting games do this though; some of them are almost decent, like Tekken gives you more unique ending sequences, whether it’s Paul riding off on his motorcycle or Law failing to cook. Yes they may too be quite disappointing and turn out to be pointless to the overall plot - but at least they don't fucking contradict themselves! In Soul Calibur they thought of a good plot and a good story then bent it over a table and butt-fucked it until it became so convoluted and splintered that there’s no real point to it. They even added a flow chart explaining the character’s motivations and some of their history because they didn't put the story in the fucking story mode!! It’s what I like to call ‘the story that could have been’.

All the story mode really is that you select a character, you get some confusing little text intro and then it’s just a series of 5 stages, wherein there will only be 3 cut scenes – 2 of which will appear with any other characters you play as. The only difference in the character stories is that you get a different sense of annoyance and disappointment with the different endings, which like I said blows monkey scrots.

Then there’s the Tower of Souls mode, where you can choose to go up or down and you fight a series of enemies who are drastically overpowered. But see there’s the thing – that’s all it is - just 60 levels of seemingly endless enemies who get more and more impossible as ya go!! And that’s just going up! Going down is kinda the same except you don’t get a break; they’ll just keep coming ‘til you die.  To put all this in perspective: imagine you are standing on a bridge - to your left is a tank, to your right is Superman, below you is a Mortal Kombat spike pit and as you look up the entire Japanese Air Force is about to bombard the SHIT out of you - here's a shitty sword, good luck, asshole...! There’s no story or even any real reward at the end of it all – it’s just another lazy-ass mode you might go on if you decide you want to hang yourself on your own controller with the wire. Only you can’t even do THAT anymore BECAUSE THE CONTROLLERS ARE FUCKING WIRELESS!! Soul Calibur IV even denies your attempted suicide when you inevitably get so frustrated and bored with the Tower of Souls.

In Soul Calibur III there was an entire coherent campaign where you make a character and take him or her through an awesome war story. There were 20 levels where it played out almost like a simplified R.T.S. where you could enter Soul Calibur style fights if you so chose when you encounter an enemy squad. Hell, even in Soul Calibur II and Soul Blade there was a campaign with a coherent story; which is why I think the Tower of Souls - just a ball-bustingly annoying extended gauntlet of enemies - is pretty fucking boring.

And of course it wouldn't be a modern fucking game without an online play mode; and... It DOES have an online mode. But there is a SLIGHT problem: IT DOESN'T FUCKING WORK!! Honest to God, folks - it's unplayable. The lag is so terrible that commands I input either doesn't register and my character does the exact opposite of help, or they just stand there like a complete dumb-ass and I quickly become someone's kebab. The timing, skill, tactics and practice with your character goes flying out the window and it turns into a luck-fest. It almost feels like the game SOMETIMES decides to let you win. Is the game really too complicated to run on its own servers? It can't be as complex a game as, say, a First Person Shooter game online, can it?? Movement is restricted to the 8-Way Run system seen in every fighting game. I dunno - I don't get it, folks.

There’s the return of the character creation mode too – where like in Soul Calibur III I had endless fun. Seriously, I would spend fucking hours on this mode just to get my character JUST right *twitch*. Some parts in this have been expanded on: you can now change whether you’re good, evil, an asshole or a douche at will, and even the pitch of your character’s voice. In Soul Calibur III you’re clothing was what determined this. You’re CLOTHING determined whether you were good or evil, WHAT THE FUCK??

“No… NO! NOT THE EVIL TROUSERS!! THEY DO THINGS THAT MAKE ME SHOOT MILK OUT OF MY NOSE!! THE HORROR!!! THE EVIL!! THE TISSUE!! NEVER ENOUGH GOD DAMNED TISSUE!!”

We were seriously meant to believe that every last item of clothing was blessed, cursed or pissed on? Well anyway, thankfully they got rid of that. Instead each item of clothing has skill points attributed to it – like how much health, attack, defense and skill points it gave. How a T-Shirt can make someone healthier is beyond me, but I digress. Each weapon works the same way as well – the magical abilities of the weapon are no longer fixed, but still have a fixed number of attribute points it gives you. What all this amounts to is that you get to tailor your character’s abilities a little better than before; which I must say made sense to me – but I liked the previous weapon setup too. Here are my problems: because your appearance now matters in the story mode, Tower of Souls mode and versus mode you still have to make a choice: do I wanna look awesome and be a total fart in the wind, or do I wanna look like monster from Power Rangers and win more? I dunno it’s up to the player I guess. And the attribute points don’t really make sense or match the item of clothing either. All in all, in order to have a character which is any good you probably won’t look like how you wanna look. Thinking about it, the character customization is pretty limited, especially when compared to the Smackdown game series.

There is also much less weapons in the game. In Soul Calibur III you could use everyone’s fighting styles, as well as an entire new armory’s worth of weapons, each weapon’s style being different. I think there were still more weapons in Soul Calibur II and Soul Blade. Aren’t you supposed to, you know, ADD STUFF to your sequels?? Has anyone else noticed this in gaming lately? Some games can be completed in 4 hours now - like Kane and Lynch 2 and The Force Unleashed 2. At most games only tend to last about 8 hours, though. See here's the thing - are games really worth the money anymore? You can pick up any given DVD for about £5 - and that's usually about 2 hours of entertainment, whereas you have to pay £40 for 8 hours of entertainment with gaming?

So what about the game play itself? It seems like the creators were focusing on that, right? The other modes have ended up being pretty disappointing – so clearly they were banking on the game play to carry you though, and to hold re-play value.

Well they have added a few new features, some of which aren’t really new features, even within the Soul Calibur series. First one is the Soul Gauge system – defining how healthy your character's soul is. Basically if you block too much your soul will ‘break’, allowing your opponent to do a critical finishing move to win the round instantly. Some of these moves ARE pretty cool, but you can almost predict what they’d do anyways and some of the characters even have the same finisher, like Rock and Astaroth! Okay, yes it is very satisfying to do this – but the thing is as soon as you get close to doing it your opponent will suddenly grow some balls and go Super Saiyan or something screaming “DENIED!!” Seriously – more often than not I’ll get close to owning the fucker and the junk-face will suddenly start to make me look like some kind of decoration; despite me owning them to that point in the first place – what the hell??? Moreover your opponent is usually nearly dead anyway, so odds are you won’t get the chance. Sometimes it’s almost like the computer doesn’t want to give me the satisfaction of punching it in the soul - I wonder why…

It’s kind of reminiscent of Soul Blade, where along with your health bar; below it you also have your weapon’s health bar. Hell yeah – you could disarm the fucker’s sword and he or she can disarm yours and you actually start to fist fight – THAT IS FREAKIN’ AWESOME! Even if your sword gets snapped it won’t stop you from trying to annihilate the bastard for daring to fight back and breaking your best pointy stick. It adds another layer of thinking to your strategy, making it more interesting (and in a way, realistic) – you’ve gotta think: can I block another big hit? If you get disarmed you get the feeling that you’re in trouble. But in Soul Calibur IV you know you probably won’t get the critical finish and you know that your opponent probably won’t either. There’s no real sense of urgency or worry if you’re Soul Gauge is low, or even if it breaks; because not only do you have to be beyond precise with the input to DO the move (finding the Higgs Boson would require less precision), but odds are you’ll get the Soul Crush mid-combo; meaning you automatically lose your chance, because the prompt is so fast and sudden you’d already be in mid swing with a follow up attack which probably won't kill them  - which snaps them right out of it and they're fine! BULL SHIT!!

Another feature worth mentioning is switching; whereby if there is more than one member in your team (which only happens in the story and Tower of Souls mode). You can push a button to swap to the other fighter – who will SLOWLY recover lost health when they’re tagged out. Thing is you can’t tag as much as you want because there’s a gauge that empties when you make a tag – which is only good for three tags – what the fuck is that shit? Why can’t I just tag as often as I want? What the fuck is my other guy doing?? Do ya think it’s like in GTA where they run off and find a prostitute? It’d explain his or her health recovering when they’re on the bench…

Another thing they've added to the game is a three-tiered equipment system. If a particular zone of a character is attacked enough (low, middle and high zones) that area of their attire will break or get ruined. With the pre-rendered standard characters this look really cool, making them look like they actually are in a fight to the death. However, where this falls flat on its face is with the created characters. Instead of making the clothing on that plain look torn or battered - it simply disappears. Yeah - put time and effort into making your character look like a fucking bad-ass and suddenly they're just in their underwear.

"I am the all-mighty Auros! FEAR MY SHINEY PANTILOONS!!"

Dignity - WHAT'S THAT!!??

As for the character list - there are 33 standard/unlockable playable characters in the game - with 50 slots available for either modifying pre-made characters or creating your own characters. The possibility of being able to play with a roster of 83 characters is pretty damn impressive.

But that’s more or less it. That’s all that they’ve done to it – given it a face lift, sucked out some of the awesome modes and replaced them with shitty ones and added some features to the game play which aren’t new, innovative or amazing to the fighting game genre. It’s very disappointing everything considered… but I still love it! Like the Soul Caliburs and Soul Blade before it I will play it to literal death – as in I’ll play it so much I’ll fry the disc (and yet another part of my will die inside). My addiction to them will demand that I play them to the end of time, no matter how much convoluted bullshit they spew out of their anuses. It might just be another beat ‘em up now, with Star Wars characters in it for franchise and profit reasons, but its Soul Calibur.

But look, if I keep poking at everything that sucked or didn’t make sense you’d probably die of boredom and inappropriate use of pen lids. On the most part – it’s fun! The series always has been fun, and probably always will be. THAT’S how I think a game should be judged, not by whether it’s buggy or stupid but by how much fun you had when you played it! Games can be art, sure; and games can be of a high standard - but if it doesn’t appeal to you and isn’t immersive or fun, you won’t play it, no matter how good the graphics look, or how well the game play works. People love to say  ‘gaming isn’t as good now’ probably because of nostalgia - and the fact that their 10 year old kid just beat them into submission on Modern Warfare 2 - which I suppose is partially true – but if a game is simpler, there is less than can go wrong (well, I SAY that)... Unless the creators are like, chimps or something… who are high… from snorting bananas…

Dare: Hey Auros, have you heard the rumors the makers of Tekken are thinking of making a farewell to the franchise: Soul Calibur V?

Auros: Gotta go, catch you guys later. Thanks folks!

Dare: Oh bananas... ^_^

Traveller 5: A Space Odyssey

+++Incoming Transmission+++

The SS Tempora, Captain Firu residing, commencing recording star date 2294356, 3rd Millennium...

Out of the many editions of Traveller throughout the years I've only managed to happen upon its 5th incarnation - the first edition being published in 1977, long before I was even born; but however the Traveller series has remained a cornerstone of role playing games.

Granted, these days there's an RPG for pretty much any universe and any sci-fi setting (including Dr. Who, Warhammer 40,000, Firefly, Star Wars, Star Trek... the list goes on). However Traveller has a one advantage: it is a true generic sci-fi setting.

From the initial reading of the pocket edition of the handbook (a great re-working of the original system) very little background details are given: you have the 3rd Imperium, you have ships, you have guns and BY THE WAY there's aliens... enjoy!

Todd: First off we did have a slight issue - i.e. he's got the pocket edition, so the character sheets are a bit small, but thankfully Mongoose publishing took the Traveller system to a new dimension.

DM: No pun there.

Todd: Oh yeah... anyway they have given the player and game master alike more than enough resource background information than you can shake a PDF at!

DM: So a quick bit of printing and we're off and ready to go... you see in theory you cant argue with a game that simply requires 2D6 forever - nothing more! And trust me, when you've needed 8D4 3D10 and D8 just to calculate how much damage your 9th level monk is doing. 2D6 seems like a god send (okay, I'm exaggerating the dice, its 2 3-12 damage per hand).

Todd:... may I?

DM: If you must, character creation then?

Todd: Yeah, pretty much where I was going with this...

*ahem* Character creation: never have we and our little group had such a infuriatingly long-winded, most hysterical character creation ever! It is a thing of awesomeness!

DM: And strangely enough the only character creation where you can die.

Todd: True, damn ageing rolls!

DM: But yes, initial stats over or under a certain number equals a modifier (2D6 plus modifier)! In role playing terms the simplest system in the world.

Todd: However, rather than the classic race (although it is available we've just never bothered) and with the classes in Traveller, you roll to see what job you get, then roll to see what happens, then roll to advance, roll to change etc.

DM: Granted we've found the process slows everything down something evil - especially when you've only got one book, but the varied results are memorable.

Todd: Yeah that's true, so far we've had Dare and his character being kicked out of every military organisation including the police forces within his 2nd term.

And Babs who's Dr lost an eye after a psyonics experiment, who simply decided to go into space piracy afterwards, and soon generally became known for waving a cutlass around! ><

DM: I've managed to organise a few games, thanks to the rule book's near endless tables for rolling upon: ships, planetary politics, law levels, stocks and shares and even entire star system generators. The resources available are invaluable; however I have found sometimes its better to take a few things with a pinch of salt, especially on the system creator; but with such a generic setting, its not hard to adapt traveller for any situation or setting.

Todd: That's all very well and good, but bar character creation game play is almost sterile. Granted it can go very silly very quickly, or super serious. The only problem being unless your DM or players have a clear idea of what sort of game you're playing its basically a stock market game - move this to there get cash, try and keep ship costs down.

DM: Especially when it is entirely possible to start with a fleet of ships.

Todd: Yeah, you never let us have that one. :( Mind you 5 ships with one character, that is like WTF?

DM: But with a bit of careful planning, I think if you know what your group expects form the RPG... hell, go for it. If not even as a DM you can be left floundering.

Todd: So Star Trek style?

DM: Okay, can I be Scotty?

Dare: I claim red shirt!!

In summary:-

Rules: Easy to learn, although swamped with modifiers, I found couple of reads and it becomes second nature.
Game: Creation excellent, the ability to make in-depth worlds is extraordinary.
Playability: Good, quick and easy although not ideal for games on the fly.

+++Transmission Ends+++

The DM speaks.

You find yourselves in a darkened room, a circular library of sorts. Amongst the the cluttered tables, between the shelves you see a hearth; the fire warming and comforting - its dancing flame illuminating a robed figure.
He beckons you to a seat, looking up form his work he speaks to you...

DM: Greetings. It occurs to me as I sit here, high in my tower surrounded by my many tomes and scrolls of power, perhaps I will endeavour to review these many things.

Dare: That's nice... needs more boobs!

DM: No...

Although in the spirit of fairness, I have recruited the help of a willing mind slave-- err, player - known as Todd. With our collected INT (intelligence) score and good few dice rolls, we shall review our passion for role playing games!

Up coming reviews:-
AD&D vs. D&D 4th ed.
Dark Heresy
Deathwatch
Traveller 5
Judge Dredd
Call of Cthulhu
WHFRP (Warhammer Fantasy Role Playing)

So, with no further ado, we will set about play testing, dice rolling and no doubt many lengthy, nearly endless debates... off we go!!!

Dare: To the dungeons with you!!!