Interrogation Chamber.

Deep in the catacombs of WIP HQ, lost somewhere beneath the near endless maze of corridors and rooms lie the holding cells.  Rumor has it that they contain a number of the most diabolical tomes, creatures and bad movies on VHS to have ever existed.

Within this den of evil, known simply as vault 16.5, there is a room cloaked in the shadow of darkness so deep that not even the light of the gods can penetrate it; this is known as the Review chamber!

There is but one light highlighting a figure... subject: Dare.

From the mysterious shadows a familiar voice echoes out. “Time is 1642, interrogation of subject Dare commencing, recording starts:-

DM: So we meet at last, Mr. Dare.

Dare: … *Incoherent mumbling*

DM: Try taking the mask off.

Dare: … Ah, fresh-ish air... is that stale urine I smell?

DM: I’m asking the questions here!

Dare: Urgh… how did I end up here? Last thing I remember is swimming down the Shannon trying to catch the Guinness-filled whale.

DM: Never you mind; and for your information it wasn’t a whale, it was a milk truck.

Dare: Aw, at least that explains the white stuff.

DM: …

Dare: By the way, what year? Day? Who are again?

*sound of punch to head*

Dare: Ouch, my brain!

DM: Thank you, Winnie. So… Mr. Dare, what have you been up to on your little travels?

Dare: You know those contortionists, the ones that fit into a tiny box? I’d really like to see them fit into a Ryan Air flight...

DM: Answer the question, please.

Dare: What?? Oh yeah, Ireland... yeah shortly after we landed I realized we weren’t going to Disney Land Paris.

DM: No, it was Ireland, I believe, we sent agent Winnie to go fetch you.

Dare: Yeah, I turned up in Ireland. It was very good - I’d only had 6 pints by this point. Anyway, after passing those guys who want paper or something—

DM: Immigration control?

Dare: Yeah, I’ve no idea. I signed a autograph for them.

DM: I see, so then what?

Dare: I don’t know, it was a bit of a blur... might’ve been because I was in a car.

DM: Or the 6 pints.

Dare: *Grumble* Oh yeah, I found myself in a local town full of local people and so I thought “hey there’s gotta be a tavern!”

DM: Hmm indeed, so what initiative demonstrates field in your time always from WIP HQ?

Dare: Err... Initiative, what’s that effect again?

DM: Its 1D10 plus agility mod -20 for intoxication.

Dare: Aw, my, err, my agility… my what, what was that...? OMG the snake!

DM: Snake? SNAKE!? SNAAAAKE!!

Dare: Oh, I was in this tavern talking to a brightly colored token, and by this point had adopted the local accent.

DM: So… the two stage initiative... stage one: how long had you been there?

Dare: ‘Bout and hour.

DM: I see.

Dare: Well my empty glasses were making an interesting monolith, and had somehow bought a round for everyone in the pub and they charged the guy next to me.

DM: So stage 2?

Dare: I was in my third pub, making a 1:1 scale representation of the Statue of Liberty.

DM: How did it go?

Dare: Not well…

DM: I see... so good times were had by all... and now you’re back, what are you planning for us in the future?

Dare: I’ve got a lot of things on the....line? Hopefully... I have photos. As you may have been able to gather, I am planning to review the best universe in the world, and quite possibly the worst.

DM: You’re speaking of course of your Starship Trooper fetish?

Dare: *Slumps in chair having a flashback moment*

DM: What the??

Dare: *Flashback continues*

DM: Okay… err, end of transmission.

Dare: Yay! At least I get a nice dark cold room to sleep off the hangover, or is that an overhang…? God damn Batman!